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2014-06-30 - 10:31 p.m.

were you happier four months ago?

it seems like everyone you know is in romania, and suddenly, everything you want is extremely specific and altogether inaccessible. a large styrofoam to-go cup filled with spinach-pineapple agua fresca. coffee with cinnamon from the hungarian pastry shop, and certain flowers that are not in season. a long walk on a particular beach with a particular friend, under a particular sky.

a child on the train describes the people waiting on the platform. "you look like a cat. and you look like a raven. and you look like a guardian angel. and you look like a cosmic voice."

and then you are on an airplane, and now you are in a different state.

next month, you will be in tokyo.

what else can you do? you are trying as hard as you can.

* * *

reading: notes from this short course.
listening to: the sounds of an unfamiliar and largely empty room.
working on: just working.
in the garden: it is beset by poison ivy.

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