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2024-02-18 - 10:01 a.m.
deficits and dead ends
if i am honest with myself, my social skills deteriorated during the covid shutdowns and have not fully recovered. i have so few face-to-face conversations with other adults, anymore, that these often feel like the conversational equivalent of the stink spirit at the bath house in spirited away. i just stand there blurping out a stagnant backlog of old thoughts, a mode of discourse enjoyed by nobody. and even when i manage not to make it weird from the jump, it's hard to tell if i am overvaluing trivial interactions, mistaking social pleasantries for genuine interest and care. but i sure did have a nice time chatting with that fella from the other museum, up in vermont this weekend. i don't know him well enough to ascertain whether he is being socially gentle with me, or if we are fundamentally at the same wavelength and vibing. either way, i can't overstate how much i miss in-person friendship. q: the same wavelength, on what spectrum?
a: hush now.
* * *
reading: catching up on partially-read issues of the new yorker, a little series of meaningless accomplishments.
listening to: my kids singing about the changing seasons as they play in the back room.
working on: at the moment, making breakfast for the children. then, on to the next thing and so on.
in the garden: little birds are hopping around on the snow, picking seeds from the seedhead garden. it's awfully nice to see.
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