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2019-12-22 - 9:27 a.m.
the days only grow longer from here on out
on wednesday, abruptly, everything was trapped in a flat, creepy light. the sky turned yellow. one snowflake drifted into the front garden, and then two, and then it was a whiteout. the wind slammed the side of the house like a person with their shoulder to a door. after that violent moment, we had a normal sky, with normal clouds and a normal sunset. we could no longer trust it.
* * *
there was the day i did not go to the hospital only because the effort to put the children in the car would cause more bleeding, and it wasn't quite bad enough to call for an ambulance. there was an episode of costochondritis. and now, my first ms flareup in nearly four years. how stupid of me, to think i could trust it.
* * *
reading: i am re-reading books on my shelves to decide if i want to keep them or not. well, if i ever want to re-read the foundation trilogy, it will have to be new copies. these cheap copies on cheap paper have practically gone to dust.
listening to: god rest ye merry gentlemen - the version by annie lennox where a stag head on a stick appears in the video with no reasons given. it's my favorite.
working on: keeping abreast of household tasks and holiday tasks besides. it's impossible.
in the garden: everything is still pebbled with ice, and it is very beautiful.
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