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2024-03-18 - 9:00 a.m.
a face with a view
i can't say i agree with you, trendy neon signs. very few, if any of you 'must be the place'. 'the place' is actually this weird hole i'm digging in the backyard. i'm quite certain. i kind of want to settle here, cold wet earth seeping through the seat of my pants and up the back of my shirt. just look up at the changing sky for a while. be settled for a while. watch things grow. up on the deck, my daughter is playing with dollhouse things. all day long and wherever she goes, she leaves an eddying trail of little imaginary worlds. all these little worlds and their little imaginary people, shimmer and fade in her wake. in adulthood, meanwhile, it's so easy for a dream life to take root and then rot inside you.
* * *
one cannot simply covet another person's life - his career trajectory, his four and a half acres, his very appealing wife. one can't befriend someone by reaching out with a grasping hand.
* * *
reading: aednan, by linnea axelsson. a very spare taxonomy of grief.
listening to: the decemberists, burial ground.
working on: sometimes it takes half the day for me to put my feet on the ground. start moving. do something.
in the garden: almost time to plant peas.
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