[about]
[archive]
[notes]
[profile]
[library]
[diaryland]
2023-01-19 - 4:47 a.m.
blow ye winds
i build a new media cabinet for the living room. i catch up on laundry. i put my screaming daughter in her wagon and drag her around the block until she falls asleep. the other day, a former colleague contacted me with some applied math questions in my narrow window of expertise. the exchange was brief - a greeting, a query, some clarifying back-and-forth. i was able to solve his problem quickly and completely. he hoped my semester was going well, and i said, "well, it's the elementary school calendar that rules my life now." he replied, "oh yea, i hear that!" well, yes. but no. being a stay at home parent demands so much that does not come naturally to me, people no longer assume i am intelligent when they meet me, and nobody really cares that much about most of what i think and do. i've been holding that interaction close like an ember. i was, and i am.
* * *
by the french revolutionary calendar, today is sieve, the 30th of nivôse. it is rainy and calm, too warm for the season. the moon is in its waning crescent. i am awake significantly before the sun. my spouse will be working late events for several nights, and this perturbed routine will leave the children badly out of sorts. i have this moment to rush ahead, and perhaps keep from falling even farther behind.
* * *
reading: gay new york: gender, urban culture, and the making of the gay male world, 1890-1940. it is blurbed as "unassailable," which is a good description. i'm glad to have this book in my metaphorical back pocket, and references therein.
listening to: basement - pine.
working on: forcing this house to align with me. different workspace, different storage - if not quite a different life.
in the garden: it's a warm winter. no snow, no ice - just mud and sad plants, confused by the season.
|