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2018-01-29 - 7:37 p.m.
it is winter once again.
last year, i sailed through these difficult months in a haze of hormones and too little sleep. this year, i take the baby to the park. when it snows, i pull him around in a little sled. i try to keep the house clean. i imagine, in great detail, how i will remodel our shitty kitchen. this is reliably a good distraction, but inevitably leaves me sad. there is not enough money. time moves too slowly and there is not enough of it.
* * * reading: sea of glory: a naval history of the american revolution, by nathan miller. listening to: a lot of japanese flute music, which the baby enjoys. working on: who the hell knows. in the garden: in the spring, the gas company will need to dig a big trench through our front yard. i worry about this all the time. all the trees dying of verticillium wilt worry me also.
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