2007-05-21 - 6:53 a.m.

on ego and living in squalor

(1) you made more money last year than i have for the past three years. (2) you literally leave your shit for me to clean up.

the semiotics of this situation go far beyond, "some people have higher standards than others. what bothers some people doesn't bother others."

moving on.

you like household drama. i am not referring to arguments and slammed doors and silent pouting. rather, you don't like to do the regular everyday chores that keep a household running in a comfortable, sanitary way.

if you let things go until they become encrusted in grime and covered in piles of trash, cleaning up becomes dramatic, striking and praiseworthy.

but you - and those who share your space - have to live with filth most of the time.

regular chores are not dramatic, like playing cinderella. instead, they are practical. if you always clean the thing you most hate to clean before it gets really dirty, it's never that hard to deal with. life becomes easier overall.

you expect that others will work out the subtleties of household routines, relationships and interactions, while you wait for direction. because this direction is imposed on you, rather than organically constructed, you will inevitably resent, ignore or sabotage it. you expect other people to deal with the messes you create.

i don't want to tell you where and when and how to do your chores, step by step, on and on and on, forever and ever, world without end, amen.

you are older than i am. do you see how ridiculous it is, to expect me to be your mother?