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2012-04-26 - 11:33 a.m.

don't go down so gently into those inkwells

i was reading new finnish grammar, and it was kind of rough going.

when brain injury or a condition like mine is used as a plot device, i get uncomfortable, suspicious. i am always on the edge of taking it personally.

* * *

if you have a problem and need help, it is incumbent on you to be the kind of person whom other people want to help. there's this tremendous coercive force to make your story fit an acceptable narrative, so other people will play the part they ought to play.

that is the key to semiotic constraints on action. you are moderated not by internal motives, but instead by the knowledge of how your actions may be interpreted by others.

and then your life is no longer your own, but a disingenuous and manipulative convolution of fiction.

* * *

"There is more than one reason, one comes to realise, why Marani an Italian chose Finnish as the lost language of his hero. This is a novel about loss, about not having: asked by a nurse what he likes most about the language, Karjalainen replies: 'the abessive ... a declension for things we haven't got: koskenkorvsatta, toivatta, no koskenkorva, no hope, both are declined in the abessive. It's beautiful, it's like poetry! And also very useful, because there are more things we haven't got than that we have.'" [via]

* * *

reading: a textbook.
listening to: white fence, the love between.
working on: writing.
in the garden: sammi the steppe tortoise buried herself in the spider hole again, and we couldn't find her for hours.

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