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2011-07-21 - 7:19 a.m.

what state of life and growth is now arrived and arriving.

my sister's apartment catches the breeze from the river. like van gogh in arles, i found myself fixated on the quality of the light. i walked to the farmer's market and bought bunches of sunflowers.

* * *

i've put a lot of effort into being happy where i live. now, though, i realize i have to work hard and get out of here. i forgot what it was like, not to feel out of place.

* * *

reading: lawrence buell's transcendentalist anthology. there's an odd soft spot in my heart for he transcendentalists and their peculiar readings of goethe and kant.
listening to: the a/c compressor switching off and on.
working on: finishing the world's most boring sweater, painting the kitchen wall, making a table. tying up loose ends.
in the garden: everything is suffering from the heat, with the exception of one tiny cactus.

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