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2011-06-28 - 1:32 p.m.

social practices are bodily and mental routines

immersed in this monochrome fascination, i neglect the laundry and the washing-up. dust kittens assemble in the corners and i eat oatmeal for every meal. phone calls and email go unanswered for days or weeks.

i don't know how she does it - a boyfriend, a girlfriend, an elderly dog. an art, a craft and a business, studio space and a perfectly curated home. everything she has and does, as impeccable as a razor.

when i wake up in the morning, my first thoughts are no longer for injection technique and the sharps container. i think of running, or impending deadlines, or whether it will rain. with illness, my world became very small. now that i am better, why am i not pressing at its borders?

the weather changes. a cool wind buffets in some rain, changing places with a flat heat. yeast proofs and swells in a bowl on the counter.

* * *


the neighbors across the street moved before i could really get to know them. now a girl with the most lovely muscled legs is power-washing the outside of their empty house.

* * *


reading: norman mailer, miami and the siege of chicago.
listening to: rollerskate skinny, all mornings break.
working on: a presentation.
in the garden: my kitchen phal is throwing basal keikeis. for the longest time, i believed that phals would only send out these little emissaries if they were near death, but i've since learned that is not true.


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