2007-05-18 - 5:36 p.m.
here is the big picture
you do not want to do any housework. if you want something, you will take what you want and leave the consequences for others to deal with. because you refuse to do work well, other people pick up the slack and you are left with more time to do what you want to do.
when forced to do housework under duress, you become angry, then delay the work to make it seem more substantial and time consuming than it actually is. otherwise, you act as if you are not capable and demand instruction until others just give up and finish the work themselves. you create situations where others are forced to do work that you will not, because the consequences of your non-action interfere with their space and activities.
you behave as if you are superior to other people, and those with less prestige should do housework for you. you behave as if their time is less valuable than yours. you do not arrange, negotiate or compensate others for these services - instead, you behave as if they should happen with no effort on your part.
you will not acknowledge or recognize the household services that are being done for you.
you will rationalize or flat-out lie if confronted. later, you will walk around like a punished child, avoiding interactions with others. you will behave like a victim instead of working to change your behavior.
you refuse to engage with others as an adult person. you rely on an assumption of juvenile innocence in order to structure and manipulate your interactions with others. if called to be accountable for this behavior, you will first attempt to avoid the discussion. if attention is not removed from your behavior, you will aggressively create drama to mask the issue and divert the conversation.
as for me, i am aware that i am creating the drama in which i have absolutely no desire to live. i support your actions by participating in the dynamic you have constructed, allowing you to relate to me as a parent against which you can rebel. i permit your negative emotions to punish me, as you intend for them to do.
i do not trust you enough to negotiate for a healthier dynamic within this household. rather, i am going to own my errors, find a lesson here and carry it away with me. i am not responsible for your education.
i thought i had already learned that no person can fix another person.